Angel City Zen Center - Beginners Only Podcast

Jack Taylor - What Am I Doing Here??

Jack Taylor regales us with his personal practice story as part of our ongoing series where sangha members try to answer the question of what they’re doing and why they’re here in the off chance that we might learn something about those things for ourselves. This month Jack looks at the fits and starts to maintaining a regular practice and how falling off the wagon can be just the push you need to get back on. He discusses his time around monasteries in the Northwest, how to deal with panic attacks in the zendo, and the unexpected fruits of a college PE requirement.

Emily Eslami - No Death

I wish I could tell you this was the talk where Emily unveils the secret Zen teachings on immortality, but alas, as you probably could have guessed, that's not what we do here (at least not publicly...). But just as helpfully (if not more), Emily instead gives us a thoughtful and thorough exploration of Zen teachings on death. Starting with Buddha's (quite graphic) recommended meditations on the ultimate fate of our bodies, she draws on her own fears around the idea to help us all confront what exactly it is we're so afraid of. From there she explores the more confusing Zen notions of "No Death" as chanted in the heart sutra and talked about by Dogen. I know we love our emptiness around here, but how can we talk about no death when we know it as the one great inevitability? And can understanding this "no death" help us to manage our fear and maybe live a more fulfilled life in the here and now by realizing the death and rebirth happening within every moment?  (Spoiler alert: yes!). Along the way we get an introduction to Dogen's trippy notions of time and the sangha opens up and shares their own stories of love and loss.

Dave Cuomo - Zen Begins! (History of Zen - Bodhidharma)

He's the man, the myth, the legendary founder of Zen himself. Some claim he never existed, some claim his eyelids invented tea leaves while he was off inventing kung fu in his down time. Clearly he is a legend that cannot be ignored, and Dave gives us the full scoop as we finally get to the story of Zen itself and its beginnings in ancient China. Dave claims this might be the greatest story ever told, and this one really does have it all with magic, wars, disasters, and crazy and often hilarious characters all trying to pass the great football of truth down through all the twists and turns of history. In this installment, we first get a full telling of the legend of Bodhidharma with all of its weird myths, deep koans, high drama and solid jokes that still land 1500 years later. Then we compare that to the "true" history using the latest scholarship, and what can reasonably be believed from the earliest sources about why a monk by that name did come to China and what his legacy is up to the present day. And finally, we look at what it was he actually taught in his own words (or close enough) and why the unvarnished truth is always going to be a hard sell, even while it's something we've all always known deep down.

Miranda Javid - Faking It

Miranda Javid brings some light to the tricky and relatable issue of feeling like an imposter in the zendo. Is it possible to fake it in zazen? Can anything or anyone ultimately be inauthentic? And what do we do when we feel that way anyway? Miranda looks into imposter syndrome as a modern phenomenon, and what our old friends Sunryu Suzuki and old Master Linji might have to say about how to being yourself when that self forgets exactly where it’s supposed to fit in. Along the way the sangha discusses what authenticity might really mean, whether goalless practice is a blank check to get it wrong, how to work with a teacher in a world of no ranks, and how to avoid giggling inappropriately while discussing “secretions” in a talk called “faking it…”

Emma Roy - Zen and the Art of Marketing Zen

Emma Roy looks at the legacy of DT Suzuki and his outsized role in shaping the way we’ve come to understand Zen from its beginnings in the West up to the present day. As a Zen pioneer in the US after WW2, Suzuki was arguably the great introducer of Zen to America and the canniness with which he shaped his presentation to appeal to our native sensibilities is a story of historical sausage making and savvy marketing at its finest. Was Suzuki merely a great panderer, or was Zen really the great answer America was waiting for? Is the Zen we were sold the real thing and would we be able to understand the difference? Is there a ‘real thing’ outside of cultural and historical contexts??? As always, Emma doesn’t shy away from the big questions…

Emily Eslami - Well, This is Uncomfortable (Death by Fire, Death By Ice)

Be honest, how much of your life is uncomfortable? If you're paying attention (and anything like us), the answer is probably a good chunk of it. So it might be a good idea to get to know that discomfort, get good at it even, or better yet, get deeply and intimately comfortable with that discomfort. Luckily Emily is on the case, taking on the famous koan of looking for the place that is neither hot nor cold. But I'll let Emily explain because she always has that way of boiling it down to what we need to hear:    "Are we going to go through every winter and summer without experiencing winter and summer? Are we just going to go through every winter hoping for summer, and every summer praying for winter? Or are we going to sit and be in our summers and winters.”

Dave Cuomo - Something from Nothing (History of Zen - The situation in Ancient China)

We have finally wrapped up our story of Buddhism in India and head over to where the real story of Zen begins - China. But first we have to get a little background on just who China was (old) and what it was doing (dealing with chaos like everyone else) when Buddhism and Zen first made their inroads. It's a fascinating look into how one society tried to cope with the problems of civilization through philosophy and deep thinking. This is the story of a single line drawn to represent the unity of all reality, and some spoil sport quickly pointing out that one line had just cut the universe into two. It's the story of two ancient rival philosophies trying to put society back together- stodgy old Confucianism trying to get everyone to fall in line and play nice, and witty anarchic Taoism telling everyone to just stop doing... everything. It's the story of why these two rivals absolutely needed each other to make any sense and how their fractured dualistic unity was exactly the ground Zen needed to do what it's about to do.

Dave Cuomo - A Brief History of Not Knowing

We know, Zen loves to talk about this "not knowing" stuff. And they sure seem to think they know a lot about it. But inspired by a koan that beautifully illustrates the idea, Dave got curious just how, when, and why this "Not Knowing" idea got stuck onto Zen. So Dave traces it all the way back to Buddha and what he said we could know, and then follows the bread crumbs up to the present day to see where Zen teachers got so confident about their own confusion. Along the way Dave tells some of his favorite stories from old Chan and even delves into his own history for some prime examples of what you think you know and what happens when you finally admit you don't. 

Emma Roy - A Time Outside of Time

Emma Roy takes us on a full exploration of ritual from its decidedly non supernatural intentions to it’s full ecstatic and world defining effects. Specifically she takes us on a close reading of the short well being chant, Enmei Juku Kannon Gyo, to see how it’s seaming invocation of a mythical Bodhisattva of compassion is more accurately an active awakening of our own true selves. Along the way Emma treated us to a full playlist of contemporary ecstatic sutras by the great Bodhisttvas Stevie Wonder, Joan Jett, and more as we compare rituals both mystically ancient and thoroughly modern.

Emily Eslami - The Great Mistake

Emily takes our mistakes head on with an in depth look at the concept of mistake itself, starting with Dogen's famous quote (up at the top). It's pithy, it's perfectly Zen ironic, and it opens up a whole can of worms of conundrums. What exactly is the Zen master's mistake, and come to think of it, what is a mistake at all? The Zen vows tell us not to discuss past mistakes, and yet here we are engaged in what most consider a serious practice of self improvement. How do improve on what's already perfect, and how do we forgive ourselves if we can't admit our mistakes?? (Spoiler alert, turns out forgiveness doesn't make a whole lot of sense). Is it a mistake to see our lives in terms of mistakes, and wait a minute, that doesn't make any sense! Emily explores all of this in personal terms and with deep dives into Zen lore as she traces Dogen's quote to its roots. The sangha takes to the topic immediately and applies Emily's talk in real time while they see if they can wrestle with their own mistakes without making any more while they do.